its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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