I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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