I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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