Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
