whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
