just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
