So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
