hell yes lets make some ravioli
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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