Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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