is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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