the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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