I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
