I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize