what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
