but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
