yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
