I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize