im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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