You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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