new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
