is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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