Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
