OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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