he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
