It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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