Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
