is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
