You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
