You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize