Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
you never un-have a 4some
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
