ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
