i think my mom watched the whole time
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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