At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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