She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
