I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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