he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
