I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
