I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize