I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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