sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
