Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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