What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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