Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Randomize