Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
