was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize