She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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