Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
