yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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