We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
