As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
