Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
