hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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