I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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