Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
