Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
