he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
