could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
