Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize