Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
