It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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