Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
