I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i now understand why vodka
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
