Quick, to the slutcave!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize