so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
