so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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