the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize